Ashby's Bio

Ashby is a descendant of religious nuts and criminals, which makes him...

100% AMERICAN!!!

"I met Ash at a charity orgy. By the eleventh hour, I was exhausted, but with Ash's encouragement, I made it to the top ten. I'm training hard and determined to win next year!"

-Yo-Yo Ma - Classical Cellist and Anal Bead Enthusiast

Charity Sexathons Are Hard Work!!!

"I cast him as the jury foreman since everyone else kept trying to get out of the role."

-Paul Purplewinkle - Casting Director for the short-lived pilot: CSI - Jury Duty

"When Ash suggested I sell carbon neutral compostable bullets, I thought he was mad. Now they are one of my best sellers, especially with environmentally minded spree-shooters!"

-Satan - Lord of Darkness and part-time Uber driver

"That foul stench ain't from my diaper. Ash must be nearby."